If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
