i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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