so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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