end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
