So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
