I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
