Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I cut my penus on the lid.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
