I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize