I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
