ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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