Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
