I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
