i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
