your thong is hanging out like whoa
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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