yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
