Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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