He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
A bitchslap is in order.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
