Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
