My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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