is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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