Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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