I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
