I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
