How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Randomize
