you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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