I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
