please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize