I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize