it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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