You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
