Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
