Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
