Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
