i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
