i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I wish i was in the wii world.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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