I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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