just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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