Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
