I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
