His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
