I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Can I color on your dick again?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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