thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize