Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
