so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize