If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Randomize
