Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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