Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Randomize
