so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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