College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
