Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
