Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
