RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
