The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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