Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
this will be a night to untag.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
