Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
