please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You made out with two different species that night
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
