honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
