Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
