I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
